THANKSGIVING CHALLENGE: Sight Translation of Police Report  

Here’s a little sight translation to get into the spirit of Thanksgiving.  Pull out your audio recorder, phone, or tablet and record yourself sight translating the police report below into a non-English language. Remember, standard procedure is to spend two or three minutes reviewing the document before rendering it to prepare your brain for the linguistic challenge.  When you listen to your rendition, listen for content – did you get all the concepts? Does it sound identical to the original? How about your style – was it a smooth delivery?  Did you have many pauses?  Did you add “ums” or “uhs”? Did you sound confident and professional?  And how did you handle the tricky terms? Did you freeze or did you come up with an on-the-spot solution?


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On November 28, 2019, our unit responded to a call at 2245 W. Doomed Turkey Lane regarding a domestic disturbance.  Upon arrival, Officer Pavofeo and I heard loud voices coming from inside the dwelling. Before we approached the front door, a woman who appeared to be middle aged came running out.  She appeared to be agitated – she was speaking loudly and rapidly and was flinging her arms about as she ran toward us.  She was uttering things like, “Thank God you’re here!  They’re going to kill each other! They’re out of control.” The woman identified herself as Griselda Gobble.  Officer Pavofeo asked Ms. Gobble a series of questions and after ascertaining there were no firearms or other weapons in the house and getting a general idea of the situation, and how many people were in the house, we entered the dwelling.  We identified ourselves, and spoke in a calm, non-threatening manner in order to de-escalate the situation. Upon entering, we immediately observed a woman with the left side of her face and left shoulder covered with what appeared to be blood. The woman was later identified as Pamela Groundbird, 36, and the paramedics subsequently determined the red substance was in fact cranberry sauce. She was yelling at a man who had a brown thick liquid substance running down his face, later determined to be gravy. The man was later identified as Paul Poultryman. [233 word mark]

The woman screamed, “You narrow minded, ignorant jerk! It’s people like you are that are destroying this country!” The man retorted with, “You get your sorry flexitarian ass out of my house!” Officer Pavofeo and I separated the man and the woman by taking them to separate rooms. Paramedics and back-up were called. After interviewing all the people in the household, it appears the events were as follows.  Ms. Gobbler miscalculated by about three hours the length of oven time the 18.3 pound turkey needed to be fully cooked.  In the meantime, the family members proceeded to consume mixed alcoholic beverages, to wit, rum and cokes, Red Bull and vodka, strawberry wine, in addition to beer. Ms. Gobble stated that at some point in the evening, after the parties were apparently inebriated, the conversation turned into the recent political events, namely, the impeachment hearings.  It seems Ms. Groundbird and Mr. Poultryman have opposing political ideologies and, according to Ms. Gobble, most of the time it is not a problem due to a mutual pact to not discuss politics – a pact which was broken this evening. According to Ms. Gobble, Ms. Groundbird at one point in the discussion picked up a gravy boat and dumped the gravy inside it on Mr. Poultryman who retaliated by dumping a ramekin with cranberry sauce onto her.  Mr. Poultryman and Ms. Groundbird were transferred to the station in separate squad cars.  They were detained for several hours in different cells, processed, and released. They were each charged with misdemeanor offenses and a court hearing was set for December 6. (498 words)

Copyright: Yvette Citizen and Irene Radillo. November 2019. 

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